Library Finds: The Shock of the Fall, by Nathan Filer

“5/5: Poignant, important and very realistic, this is another great 2017 read for me. The characters were so alive that I had to keep telling myself it’s a fictional novel and the story is so emotional at times it’s difficult, but the author’s ability to engage and captivate makes this an interesting read nonetheless. Only improvement would be to have more of it! (Especially the relationship between Matthew and his dad, I think.)”

So that was my goodreads review of The Shock of the Fall by Nathan Filer, but it’s not a great review, is it? The word “interesting” should be “outstanding”, the syntax and grammar isn’t at all perfect and, well, it’s just quite short really. However, despite all of that, the review matters because that’s how I felt the minute I finished this book. The story and the characters (and their billion emotions) were still raw and I just had to write about it. So, even though that review is far from flawless, I’m happy with it.

Nevertheless, I would like to add some more.

The Shock of the Fall features a boy named Matthew, and about his and his family’s lives, coping with his brother’s death. It is a raw story about someone dealing with grief but also their own mental health, which yes can be upsetting at times but due to his endless attempts to overcome each obstacle in his path, this read is both inspirational and astounding.

I would therefore recommend this read to anyone over the age of 16/18 (depending on the individual) as there are mentions of suicide attempts/ self-harm within the novel, but in my opinion it is definitely a novel worth reading.

A book from the St Mary’s library collection, reviewed by Beth Fisher, first year Creative and Professional Writing student.


Poem: That Damn Green Light

That Damn Green Light

by Beth Fisher

I’ve wrote this stupid poem too many times,

But love, pain and sorrow won’t fit into rhymes,

Syntax and iambic meter; I’m sorry it isn’t all neater,

You can’t fit with the times; it isn’t always so sublime,


But we do our best and that’s quite alright, right?


I drink tea at 03:25, with a passion in my heart struck alive,

And sometimes I wish I could shut it all down, if only just to survive,

I wish I could be a fighter, I will be, just let me be something lighter,

Sometimes you can’t jump and dive; you just have to escape the hive,


But you do your best and that’s quite alright, right?


I question heaven at 03:27, with a heart that’s hardly beaten,

And sometimes I wish I could shut it all down, if only just to cease the sounds,

I wish I could be so much lighter, I will be, just let me be something stronger,

Sometimes you can’t be the siren; making everyone else around you listen,


You do your best and that’s quite alright, so right-


Don’t dwell on the before at 03:34; focus on the future (that’ll last),

Let your worries be no more; left at the door, raise your flags and mast,

Go and let yourself explore; don’t hide away like the times before,

Everything will be okay, have hope and someday you will find the shore,


We’ll do our best and no one can ask for more than that.


Here we are, together and apart, in a world born of a different heart,

We shy away as we loathe to restart; we prefer to hide in the dark,

And sometimes you don’t quite fit the part, but would it really tear you apart-

Just to look up at the dying stars; how wonder and life can journey that far,


I’m doing my best and, no one can deny, that’s sure a start.


We’re in a world where blue is black and white is orange,

Where waters are darker than the blazing sky, things are deranged,

We’re surviving but none of us really know how or why,

I’m sorry that it doesn’t make much sense, but beauty is strange,


We’re doing our best and, no one can fault, we are as strong as rain.


I’m coming to the end of overthinking whilst before I was sinking,

Drowning in thoughts and screaming, but here I am blinking,

I am waking from a sleep I didn’t realise I was sleeping, seeping

Into my bones, I can feel an awakening; a new formation that’s linking,


Beautiful day, beautiful people, beautiful everything; I am floating.


To those who are lost and unknowing, stars are always born, then glowing,

Evolution is about change and knowing, that plays are deeper than showing,

And people are stranger than you could know; better if you stay for the show,

Life can be a boat against the hitting tide, and the secret is to keep on rowing,


We do our best and that’s quite alright; we find more highs than we do lows.

Beth Fisher is a First Year Creative and Professional Writing student.


Getting into Peril – the journey from fan to editor

Scrolling through Facebook, I found a unique opportunity from an author that I follow. Joss Stirling – her real name is Julia Golding – is a YA writer from Epping Forest in Essex. Her books include the Savants series, savants being people with extraordinary mental powers, whose destiny is to seek their soulfinder – their other half. There are six books in this series, published under her pen name, the first being Finding Sky.

Stirling has now written the first book in a new series, called Peril. Peril is about seventeen-year-old Meri Marlowe who is able to see peril – a colour in the UV spectrum – but may be the last of her kind. She is being hunted by mortal enemies who will settle for nothing less than the end of her race. She has been on the run for years and is now hiding out in a climate-changed London. The other main character is Kel Douglas. Kel is one of an ancient people whose skin is covered in peril-coloured patterns when they come of age. By day he is an ordinary student, the rest of the time he is bodyguard to the heir to the throne. That’s until he meets Meri.

There are some gifts you do not want. Mine has marked me out to be hunted.

Joss Stirling announced the title of her book on her Facebook page with the release date for July. She then followed up with a post saying that she wanted some of her fans to read the final draft of Peril before it was officially released. The first 50 people to send her a message, offering their help, would be chosen. Luckily, I saw the post early enough to become involved. So I messaged her, saying I would love to provide some feedback as I liked the Savant series.

This was her reply:

That sounds great, Jess. I’m planning to release the book on 13 July. I can change anything right up to the last moment so if you were able to send me your feedback by then, that would be ideal. A review on whatever platform you use would be fabulous. I’ll also have a very short window (24hr) of a bargain price (99c or 99p) for the early birds so you might want to tell your friends. Now I need your email so I can send a copy to you! I’d prefer not to use the Facebook attachment route.

She emailed me the final draft of Peril in a PDF format, password-protected of course. Stirling named the 50 fans the Peril Super-Team. She gave me a list of specific questions about the book, just some things for me to look out for as I read the book. She gave me an explanation of each question as well, but here are the headings:

  1. Joss does dystopian?
  2. Fantasy of colour?
  3. Characters?
  4. Who would I like to see in part 2?

I read Peril, only pausing to note some typos. I enjoyed the book, and then answered her questions honestly and as best as I could. I wasn’t sure where to send the feedback so I emailed her and then copied a similar message into her Facebook messages.

Joss Stirling’s reply was:

Dear Jess, Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback. You’ve even managed to spot two typos no one else has done – it is amazing how many there are and I get blind to them after a while. Please look out for thanks by name in the final – hopefully typo free – version. I’ve changed a few things in response to the feedback which I’ve found really constructive. If you had time to leave a review on line it really helps the visibility of the book. Best wishes.

A really important lesson that I learned whilst doing this was that, even if you think your book/script/etc is finished, it can always be improved. Sharing your work with others will show you ways to improve your work so when you finally submit it (or hopefully publish it) it will do your ideas justice.

Another lesson I learned from this is that besides spelling errors, we should think of questions to ask our readers, and really engage with their views of your characters or plot. I thought when that final draft, after editors have worked their magic, it would be ready to go. But Joss Stirling has made changes to her book based on the feedback of her readers about important aspects to the story, not just the technical makeup of the book.

Furthermore, besides what I have learnt from this opportunity, it was really exciting to see my name printed in a book, especially in Joss’ book as I went through my teenage years reading her series. If you would like to read Peril, or her other series, you can find it on If you follow her Facebook page, she occasionally reduces her books for 99p only for a limited time. I am grateful to Joss Stirling for giving me this opportunity.

Jess Evans is a third year Creative and Professional Writing student


I remember being a child in the back of the car, gunning it down the Autobahn in Germany. The speed limit is 80mph, and as you could imagine, it was thrilling to feel your back sink into the seat as high speeds sent a wave of force through your body. But it was not the Fast and Furious thrill I remember about the long stretch of motorway, no. It was the car accidents.

When I was small on the long car journeys, we would always pass at least one crash. Sometimes a handful. My mother and father always told me not to look, and for a time, I passed these fatal accidents with my head pressed into the back of a headrest, or crushed into a siblings’ chest. I can’t remember how old I was when I started ignoring the warnings, when I would turn my head and look.

I would turn and look as we sped past, and flashes of gory horror would imprint themselves in my brain. White sheets over mannequin lumps, red-stained, like a fancy dining table cover that someone spilled a fine burgundy all over. Heads leant against rails with sticky-looking black covering them in the darkness. It was always so dark, I always assumed it was oil or tar over the windshield. One time, I even saw what the inside of a skull looks like. I learned what leaking petrol smells like. I didn’t gawk for an age, as I said, it was always just a flash.

I don’t know if it was some kind of morbid curiosity or fascination that made me look. I felt nothing other than pity for the afflicted as we drove away. I never felt any trauma from looking. But there was one very strong reaction I had to these snapshots: my seatbelt.

I was notorious for only pretending to wear mine, or complain about it being uncomfortable, but when I started looking at the tragedies we whizzed past, my hand would start seeking out the comfort of my belt. Whenever I entered a car, my pudgy child hand would push the square glinting metal into the boxy red and grey plastic, wait for the click and then give it a tug, an afterthought. To make sure.

I always thought that it was funny how I was told not to look at a tragedy, that it would upset me. Traumatise me. Disturb me.

What it really did was instil something subconsciously, even as a child. I started to understand why all those German fairy-tale books at my Oma’s house could have quite grisly endings. Funny that I was never told not to read them.

That we look, and we learn. And we guard against.

A piece of flash fiction by third year Creative and Professional Writing student Stephanie Marquardt.

Giving the gift of great books to Twickenham

As part of our Induction Week for 2017 St Mary’s Creative and Professional Writing students went out to spread their good taste in books to the lucky people of Twickenham. Look out for copies of these books – and more – featuring the Book Fairies stickers, and all with postcards inside saying what it is about them that the book-giver loved so much. Thanks to all the students who took part for their generosity. (We of course gave them all a new book to replace it, a book that hopefully they’ll love just as much.)


The weather held out for us, which was a nice change after the skies decided to open over the St Mary’s grounds for the half hour – and only the half hour – that we held our short Welcome reading event.


Summer reading: Looking outwards, and looking back

Today’s recommendation comes from Jane Kremer, who will be shifting degree programmes to join Creative and Professional Writing in September, after stepping up and taking part in our student readings this year.

My recommendation is funnily enough a book that I got from our lecturer Jonathan after a reading. It’s called Guapa by Saleem Haddad and impressed me so much that I even consider it my new favourite book. Here’s why you should pick it up this summer: Throughout, the book has been written with a highly capturing writing style and plot. It deals with a young gay man – Rasa – who lives in the Middle East and stands in front of the shattered remains of his only big love in life. The plot reflects both on the relationship and why it failed, as well as on the main character’s childhood and upbringing.

I found it especially fascinating because the book gave me an insight into a completely unknown world – and I’m sure it will have a similar effect on anyone who has grown up up in Europe or other westernised countries.

The book reflects on the culture-clash of growing up with a Middle-Eastern father and a Western mother; on gay life in the Middle-East; on the political happenings during the Arab Spring. Then, when Rasa goes to study in the US while 9/11, he experiences a rapid shift of identity. After having felt different because of his homosexuality, his consciousness now shifts towards being a Muslim and he experiences what it’s like to wear this label in America.

The book is one of the rare works that manage to keep their quality up until the very last page – the ending is great, neither shallow nor otherwise disappointing.

A good book for people who like to broaden their horizons a little and who like to experience the feeling that they’re growing through the main character’s experiences! =)

This summer I will try to re-read El Principito (The Little Prince) by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, and as you can see from the title, I will try and read it in Spanish. I remember that I really liked the book when I read it as a child, so it will be interesting to see what I think of it now, perceiving it through adult eyes.

Summer Reading: Hockey, jocks, pies and interruptions

Today’s Summer Reading recommendation comes from current 2nd Year Creative Writing student Amie Carden. Take it away, Amie…

My summer recommendation isn’t actually a book. I’ve been getting into webcomics recently, this one I binge read for hours after it was recommended to me by a friend of mine. With a cute art style, Check, Please! is about Eric Bittle, who is starting university in Massachusetts on a sport scholarship. Eric is a 5’6, blonde, amateur pâtissier who vlogs about his life and newly invented recipes. The loveable tiny member of the team really makes an impact on their team plays and on their living habits.

“It’s a story about hockey and friendship and bros and trying to find yourself during the best 4 years of your life.”

An adorable comedy around the friendships within a prestigious hockey team.

On a completely different note, I’ve been aiming to read this book for years. Since watching the film adaptation years ago, Girl, Interrupted has made me very intrigued as to what was missed out from the original diary, by author Susanna Kaysen. How many psychotic episodes didn’t make it to the final cut? What happened to them all after their stay in the ward? So this summer, I’ll be reading a memoir that shows just how insane it was to be sectioned in the 1960s.

Summer reading: international, anarchic and avant garde

Today’s Summer Reading recommendation comes from Juan Gutierrez, a current first year Creative and Professional Writing student:

Collected Poems by Raúl Gómez Jattin

Some might say Collected Poems contains the ramblings of a schizophrenic, a pervert, and a bum. Others might say it contains the beginning of all modern Latin American poetry aesthetic. It is all a part of the myth that has become Raúl Gómez Jattin’s life and work. His legacy is as spread out as it is controversial and he is both adored and despised by many. His work has not been forgotten, and his voice influenced an entire generation of poets in the rebellion to the rigid tradition of old Latin American literature. Collected Poems is an anthology that gives the English-speaking world a glimpse into the bizarre uniqueness of experimental Latin American poetry and the author’s brilliantly troubled mind. Raul Gomez Jattin paved the way for an academic acceptance and understanding of homosexual poetry and an anarchic structure. His poems capture the power of the Caribbean joie de vivre and his own existentialist conflicts, along with his sexual desires and his views on the people of Cartagena that surrounded him during his life. Aside from offering an interesting insight into a celebrated troubled man, Collected Poems is highly recommended also for the influence it has had on the Colombian literary landscape and the future of Latin American poetry.

Summer reading: for the footloose and fearless

Our next summer reading recommendation is from current second year Creative and Professional Writing student Philip Nash.

I’m going to recommend a travel narrative called The Places In Between by Rory Stewart. Stewart went on a solo hitchhike through Afghanistan, from Herat to Kabul, during a time of major terrorist threats when he could easily have been shot and killed. I was recommended it by a crazy American guy in my hostel in Utrecht who planned on hiking/hitchhiking from France to Greece.

Summer reading: Breaking the pattern

Our next summer reading recommendation is from Creative and Professional Writing lecturer Russell Schechter.

 Grey skies laden with menace. Chill winds gouging your skin like fairies with flick knives. Barbecue-blackened sausages which are somehow still trichinosis-pink at their core.

Ah, summer in England!

And time to read for fun. Oh, frabjous season!!

Here’s my suggested summer book guide: read what you want. Read what you really enjoy. And then read something completely different. If you never pick up non-fiction, read a biography. If you hate crime novels, read a murder mystery. Break your reading pattern and expand your horizons – for at least one book.

(What a mealy-mouthed recommendation. Criminy, just what you’d expect a miserable Creative Writing tutor to say.)

So here’s something more particular. Read a John Wyndham novel. It’s not exactly contemporary (he peaked in the 1950s), but good-golly-Miss-Molly was a he smart, economical and entertaining writer. Day of the Triffids. The Chrysalids. The Midwich Cuckoos. Pick one – you can’t go wrong. (NB Day of the Triffids is in the library!)

And remember to bring me back some rock from your holiday.